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Dad. You keep insisting we're related and I'm going to have to take your word for it.
£3.50
Dad. It's time I accepted that you're funnier than me.
If I only had one hash brown, I'd give you half.
£3.95
We're all accelerating towards death.
We've been together so long it's now quite healthy that we hate each other.
Get well soon. So I can laugh at your in good conscience.
Today is your Birthday. You have my sympathies.
A good birthday to you (Alfred the egg)
Do I know you?
Statistically speaking, someone was going to love me eventually.
Mother. It's time I accepted you're funnier than me.
Mother. You keep insisting we are related and I'm going to have to take your word for it.
I love you like a vaccine jab in the arm. (And I bloody love those!)
Oh you're still here. Good.
You always look marvellous in a hat
You're nothing like your mother (or mine)
Well, if you really must have a birthday
Dad. You made a joke three years ago. It was quite funny.
You're quite good
To my good friend on this very silly day.
Darling you can have the last samosa (Purple)
Darling you can have the last samosa (Orange)
That is a good baby. Well done.
Mother, you're quite wonderful and I don't tell you enough.
Somehow, over time, I've grown to tolerate you
Oh very clever. Well done.
Time to start talking to your plants.
The company line is, we met through friends
Piss off (White Caption)
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